"The nations shall know that I am the Lord,” says the Lord God, “when I am hallowed in you before their eyes." ~ Ezekiel 36:23

Sunday, September 13, 2009

a healthy level of insanity

sent in by a friend

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 

  • At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.  See If They Slow Down.

  • Page Yourself Over The Intercom.   Don't Disguise Your Voice.

  • Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something,  ask If They Want Fries with that.

  • Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks .  Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,
    Switch to Espresso.

  • In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana'

  • Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

  • Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

  • Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

  • Sing Along At The Opera.

  • Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

  • When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!   I Won!'

  • When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives!  They're Loose!'

  • Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go".

  • Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

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