humor author unknown

The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things. The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election.

 Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the winner.  After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Minnesota.

There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties. At the end of the first day, John Mc. returned to the starting line and he had ten fish.

 Soon, Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just having another 'bad hair' day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day.

 At the end of the 2nd day John Mc. came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none.

 That evening, Harry Reid got together secretly with Obama and said, 'Obama, I think John Mc. is a low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating.'

 The next night (after John Mc. returns with 50 fish), Reid said to Obama, 'Well, tell me, how is John Mc. cheating?'

 Obama replied, 'Harry, you're not going to believe this, but he's cutting holes in the ice.'

pull the shades on "twilight"

(see earlier post on this book)

I finished reading the book "Twilight" by Stephanie Meyer, a romance novel for teen girls, and I do not recommend it.  The primary characters are Edward Cullen, an eighty year old vampire who appears as eighteen, and a sixteen year old girl, Bella, who can't keep her hands or thoughts away from him.

Edward, once the thin plot, finally begins, spends his days hovering over and saving Bella from peril.  Bella spends all her thoughts, both awake and asleep on Edward.  Edward spends his sleepless night in Bella's bedroom, watching her sleep, listening to her "sleep talk" and brooding about how wrong she is for him and he for her; think Superman and Lois Lane but with a grizzly bear eating vampire instead of an honorable Kryptonian.

Edward is beautiful, super strong, super fast, aggresive, independent and outside of all authority.  The scenario that every girl drools over him, his "James Bond" driving skills and savoir faire  will apeal to young men's fantasy's as well.  Edward can have whatever he wants and he wants Bella.

I must admit that I am intrigued that Mrs. Meyer seems to have managed to capture the essence of how I think teen girls might fantasize.  She writes much like I imagine my daughter thinks and reading Bella's thoughts I can almost hear my daughter speaking.  Weird.

While there is no overt sexual depiction in this book, fantasy's are "feverish" and there is abundant sophomoric depiction of fleshly desire.  The author's preoccupation with Edwards beauty borders on banal.  

The best description I can give this work is "trite, dark and dreary"; millions of teen girls will disagree with me and some teen boys will find in Edward a fantasy hero.

There are some elements that border on dangerous for any young minds that are already struggling with "emo"; if you are a fellow parent of one of these, 'nuff said.

Bottom line, watch your daughter's book bags and lift this one out to the rubbish bin.

There are four books in the series: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn; "soon to be a major motion picture" that my daughters will not watch.

While this post is focused primarily on Christian families, I absolutely encourage the non-Christian homeschooling families as well and my prayer is also for you!

As we begin a new school year I want to send out a hearty "Thank You" to all the teachers who double up as homemakers, taxi drivers, shoppers, cleaners, coaches, librarians, encouragers, planners, tour guides, mentors, pastors, nurses and nutritionists.  You all carry a heavy  burden and hopefully your burden is made lighter by your devotion to Jesus and hopefully eased and supported by your families.

You have a great task and a greater joy, in knowing that your service to your children will be blessed and that your children will be stronger in every way through your efforts.

This is my prayer for you and I ask you to join me in it.

Father God, will you bless these teachers?  We pray for strength and wellness in their bodies, clear minds and hearts of joy.  We ask you, Father, to give them an abundance of patience and that they will be thrilled by their student's obedience and devotion to learning.  We pray that their homes and places of learning will be sanctified, made holy and devoted to your honor.  We ask you to place a strong hedge around their homes and their families, to protect them physically, spiritually and mentally against the lies and snares of the evil one.  We ask you to provide in abundance for all their needs.

Father, will you encourage the students; clear their minds of the things of this world, ready them to be filled with the wonders and knowledge you have created for them?  Help them to be obedient, thirsting for knowledge and truth and prepared every day to face the challenges of that day.  Prepare the older students with hearts of service to help the younger students.  Show each one his mission field for this season and encourage them in bold ministry.

Father , We ask you to bless and encourage the non-teaching spouses.  We thank you that they are willing to share in homeschooling by bringing home your provision and by allowing the school to be.   We ask you to ease their burden and their spirits, help them to be strongly supportive and encouraging, to recognize the burden their teaching spouses carry and to have confidence and joy in them.  We rejoice, Lord, that your sons and daughters are stepping forward in faith to raise your family in a manner that honors You.

We ask you, Mighty God, to comfort those that must make a decision, for whatever reason, to not homeschool this year.  We pray Your hand of provision for them especially Father, and ask you to meet all their needs.

We ask your hand of protection over the children that are venturing into private and public schools this year; guide their minds and help them to hold the banner of righteousness high in their daily walk.   Protect their path and guard their eyes, their minds and their manners.

We thank you Father, that you have placed us in this land and in this time and have made available to us the freedom to educate our children;  to educate our children with truthful knowledge according to your desires and according to your great design.  We lift up to You our local and national government officials and ask you to guide their minds.

We lift each one of them, teacher, student and spouse, up to you Father, and pray that your will be done in each of their lives.

In Jesus mighty name We pray,

Amen.

"Forged from the steel of the World Trade Center, the USS New York will be commissioned into military service with the US Navy in New York City on September 12th 2009"

USS New York

StandOnTheRock.org

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. "And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and {yet} it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. "Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. "The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell--and great was its fall.". (Matthew 7:24-27, NASB)