Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
The Doctors
A Japanese doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we took the kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks."
A German doctor said, "That's nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks."
A British doctor said, "In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half of a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks."
A Chicago doctor, not to be outdone said, "You guys are way behind. We took a man with no brains out of Chicago, put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work."
A German doctor said, "That's nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks."
A British doctor said, "In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half of a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks."
A Chicago doctor, not to be outdone said, "You guys are way behind. We took a man with no brains out of Chicago, put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work."
one-liners for Christians
authors unknown
Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case..
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited, until you try to sit in their pews.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
People are funny; they want the front of the bus, middle of the road, and back of the church.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on the front door forever.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
If a church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has..
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
We're called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God Himself doesn't propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Peace starts with a smile.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
A lot of church members singing 'Standing on the Promises' are just sitting on the premises.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Be ye fishers of men. You catch 'em - He'll clean 'em.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Stop, Drop, and Roll won't work in Hell.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God loves everyone, But probably prefers 'fruits of the spirit' over 'religious nuts!'
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
He who angers you, controls you!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Prayer: Don't give God instructions, just report for duty!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
We don't change the message, the message changes us.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
If this blessed you in a profound way today, share it with a few friends to bless them! I bet someone else will LOVE it too. There is no greater treasure than a good friend! Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
authors unknown
Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case..
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited, until you try to sit in their pews.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
People are funny; they want the front of the bus, middle of the road, and back of the church.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on the front door forever.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
If a church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has..
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
We're called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God Himself doesn't propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Peace starts with a smile.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
A lot of church members singing 'Standing on the Promises' are just sitting on the premises.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Be ye fishers of men. You catch 'em - He'll clean 'em.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Stop, Drop, and Roll won't work in Hell.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God loves everyone, But probably prefers 'fruits of the spirit' over 'religious nuts!'
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
He who angers you, controls you!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Prayer: Don't give God instructions, just report for duty!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
We don't change the message, the message changes us.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
If this blessed you in a profound way today, share it with a few friends to bless them! I bet someone else will LOVE it too. There is no greater treasure than a good friend! Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
authors unknown
never a solo act for God
by Chris Polanco, 12/14/09
I had spoken in a church that has two morning services, and I went into that little room off the sanctuary where you meet to pray with the church leaders. But the people who were there when I went in weren't praying, they were playing - their trombones, that is. Actually, they were warming up to play in the brass section of the church's worship band. Now, there were some very interesting sounds coming from that room, in fact. I was almost afraid to go in, but I did. And I got involved in a conversation with the men behind the music. One of them had just made a minor goof in what he was practicing. Of course, how would I know - Mr. Music Dork? But that led to George telling me why he would much rather play with a band than play a solo. He said, "You know, it's so much easier when the band is there to support you." When I asked him what he meant by "support you," he said, "Well, the rest of the band sort of carries you along, and they cover up your mistakes!"
Take a look at Acts 2:14 . It's in the middle of one of the most powerful sermons ever preached. It's on the day the Holy Spirit came just as Jesus had predicted to indwell and to empower His followers. It's about two months after Jesus' return to heaven and Peter is standing right in the middle of the crowds in downtown Jerusalem. The city is still highly charged with hostility toward Jesus and toward His followers. Now remember the preacher here is Peter. You remember him, the same man who wimped out on Jesus only a few weeks earlier. He denied Jesus even in front of a little girl. Now, here's what is says, "Then Peter stood up with the eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd."
Well Peter went on to tell some of the very people who had crucified Jesus that they needed Him as their Savior! And 3,000 people came to Christ that day! What happened to Peter? He suddenly changed from a chicken into a tiger! Several answers - he sincerely repented of his failures - he now had the inner power of the Holy Spirit. But there was something else that gave him courage and confidence - he wasn't playing a solo. The band was there to support him! It says he "stood up with the eleven." We all need that kind of support. Are you consistently giving that kind of support to the people close to you? Are you playing like a team member or a solo performer? Are you doing all you can to create a climate of playing together instead of everyone for himself?
God provides a beautiful score for our spiritual band to follow in Hebrews 10:24-25. It's a standard to measure what you're doing with your family, the folks you work with, and the people you minister with. It says, "Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds."
Now, is the result of people being around you that they feel more motivated to be loving - to make a difference? It goes on to say, "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching."
Now, maybe you've somehow allowed yourself to slip into a solo mode, where you're cut off from the support of the band and where every mistake is amplified. In Africa, when a lion wants a gazelle for lunch, he seldom attacks when the gazelle is with the herd. He waits for it to wander off by itself. I think Satan operates like that. He wants to get you away from the rest of the band, isolate you so he can attack you and devour you. Don't let your frustrations; don't let your differences get you to pull away from the band. You really need their support.
Where you live, where you work, where you minister, be known as the encourager. Learn to appreciate the unique contribution of the other instruments, even if they sound very different from you. We were never meant to be soloists. We're created to play with the support of the band around us. Together, we can carry each other along and cover each other's mistakes!
Christopher Michael Polanco
I had spoken in a church that has two morning services, and I went into that little room off the sanctuary where you meet to pray with the church leaders. But the people who were there when I went in weren't praying, they were playing - their trombones, that is. Actually, they were warming up to play in the brass section of the church's worship band. Now, there were some very interesting sounds coming from that room, in fact. I was almost afraid to go in, but I did. And I got involved in a conversation with the men behind the music. One of them had just made a minor goof in what he was practicing. Of course, how would I know - Mr. Music Dork? But that led to George telling me why he would much rather play with a band than play a solo. He said, "You know, it's so much easier when the band is there to support you." When I asked him what he meant by "support you," he said, "Well, the rest of the band sort of carries you along, and they cover up your mistakes!"
Take a look at Acts 2:14 . It's in the middle of one of the most powerful sermons ever preached. It's on the day the Holy Spirit came just as Jesus had predicted to indwell and to empower His followers. It's about two months after Jesus' return to heaven and Peter is standing right in the middle of the crowds in downtown Jerusalem. The city is still highly charged with hostility toward Jesus and toward His followers. Now remember the preacher here is Peter. You remember him, the same man who wimped out on Jesus only a few weeks earlier. He denied Jesus even in front of a little girl. Now, here's what is says, "Then Peter stood up with the eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd."
Well Peter went on to tell some of the very people who had crucified Jesus that they needed Him as their Savior! And 3,000 people came to Christ that day! What happened to Peter? He suddenly changed from a chicken into a tiger! Several answers - he sincerely repented of his failures - he now had the inner power of the Holy Spirit. But there was something else that gave him courage and confidence - he wasn't playing a solo. The band was there to support him! It says he "stood up with the eleven." We all need that kind of support. Are you consistently giving that kind of support to the people close to you? Are you playing like a team member or a solo performer? Are you doing all you can to create a climate of playing together instead of everyone for himself?
God provides a beautiful score for our spiritual band to follow in Hebrews 10:24-25. It's a standard to measure what you're doing with your family, the folks you work with, and the people you minister with. It says, "Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds."
Now, is the result of people being around you that they feel more motivated to be loving - to make a difference? It goes on to say, "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching."
Now, maybe you've somehow allowed yourself to slip into a solo mode, where you're cut off from the support of the band and where every mistake is amplified. In Africa, when a lion wants a gazelle for lunch, he seldom attacks when the gazelle is with the herd. He waits for it to wander off by itself. I think Satan operates like that. He wants to get you away from the rest of the band, isolate you so he can attack you and devour you. Don't let your frustrations; don't let your differences get you to pull away from the band. You really need their support.
Where you live, where you work, where you minister, be known as the encourager. Learn to appreciate the unique contribution of the other instruments, even if they sound very different from you. We were never meant to be soloists. We're created to play with the support of the band around us. Together, we can carry each other along and cover each other's mistakes!
Christopher Michael Polanco
don't mess with old people
An old prospector shuffled into the town of EIidio, Texas leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the
other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?" The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... never really wanted to."
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.
When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.
The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir...... but...I've always wanted to."
There are two lessons for us all here:
Don't waste ammunition.
Don't mess with old people.
other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?" The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... never really wanted to."
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.
When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.
The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir...... but...I've always wanted to."
There are two lessons for us all here:
Don't waste ammunition.
Don't mess with old people.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
stand up
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
--Jay Leno
America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
--Jay Leno
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
--Conan O'Brien
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
--Jay Leno
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.
-- David Letterman
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America !
--Jimmy Fallon
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
--Jimmy Kimmel
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
-- David Letterman
--Jay Leno
America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
--Jay Leno
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
--Conan O'Brien
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
--Jay Leno
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.
-- David Letterman
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America !
--Jimmy Fallon
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
--Jimmy Kimmel
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
-- David Letterman
coulda heard a pin drop ...
author unknown
Here`s a refresher on how some of our former
patriots handled negative comments about our
country.
JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk,
was in France in the early 60's when DeGaule decided to
pull out of NATO. DeGaule said he wanted all US
military out of France as soon as possible.
Rusk responded "does that include
those who are buried here?
DeGuale did not respond.
You could have heard
a pin drop
When in England , at a fairly large
conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of
Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of
empire building by George Bush.
He answered by saying, 'Over the
years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men
and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our
borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked
for in return is enough to bury those that did not
return.'
You could have heard
a pin drop.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a conference in France where a
number of international engineers were taking part,
including French and American. During a break, one of
the French engineers came back into the room saying
'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He
has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the
tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb
them?'
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied
quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board
that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear p
owered and can supply emergency electrical power to
shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the
capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can
produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea
water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for
use in transporting victims and injured to and from their
flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does
France have?'
You could have heard
a pin drop.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a
naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. ,
English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a
cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large
group of Officers that included personnel from most of those
countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they
sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained
that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans
learn only English. He then asked, 'Why is it that we
always have to speak English in these conferences rather
than speaking French?'
Without hesitating, the American Admiral
replied, 'Maybe it's because the Brit's,
Canadians, Aussie's and Americans arranged it so you
wouldn't have to speak German.'
You could have heard
a pin drop.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE
ABOVE...
Robert Whiting , an elderly gentleman of
83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a
few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.
"You have been to France before,
monsieur?" the customs officer asked
sarcastically.
Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to
France previously.
"Then you should know enough to
have your passport ready."
The American said, 'The last time I
was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. Americans always have
to show your passports on arrival in France !"
The American senior gave the Frenchman a
long hard look. Then he quietly explained,
''Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day
in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a
single Frenchmen to show a passport to."
You could have heard
a pin drop.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you are proud to be an American, pass
this on! If not, delete it.
I am proud to be of
this land,
AMERICA
and ASHAMED OF ANY PRESIDENT WHO
APOLOGIZES FOR IT!!
is there a pin dropping
somewhere?
Here`s a refresher on how some of our former
patriots handled negative comments about our
country.
JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk,
was in France in the early 60's when DeGaule decided to
pull out of NATO. DeGaule said he wanted all US
military out of France as soon as possible.
Rusk responded "does that include
those who are buried here?
DeGuale did not respond.
You could have heard
a pin drop
When in England , at a fairly large
conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of
Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of
empire building by George Bush.
He answered by saying, 'Over the
years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men
and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our
borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked
for in return is enough to bury those that did not
return.'
You could have heard
a pin drop.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a conference in France where a
number of international engineers were taking part,
including French and American. During a break, one of
the French engineers came back into the room saying
'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He
has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the
tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb
them?'
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied
quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board
that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear p
owered and can supply emergency electrical power to
shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the
capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can
produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea
water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for
use in transporting victims and injured to and from their
flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does
France have?'
You could have heard
a pin drop.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a
naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. ,
English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a
cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large
group of Officers that included personnel from most of those
countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they
sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained
that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans
learn only English. He then asked, 'Why is it that we
always have to speak English in these conferences rather
than speaking French?'
Without hesitating, the American Admiral
replied, 'Maybe it's because the Brit's,
Canadians, Aussie's and Americans arranged it so you
wouldn't have to speak German.'
You could have heard
a pin drop.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE
ABOVE...
Robert Whiting , an elderly gentleman of
83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a
few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.
"You have been to France before,
monsieur?" the customs officer asked
sarcastically.
Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to
France previously.
"Then you should know enough to
have your passport ready."
The American said, 'The last time I
was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. Americans always have
to show your passports on arrival in France !"
The American senior gave the Frenchman a
long hard look. Then he quietly explained,
''Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day
in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a
single Frenchmen to show a passport to."
You could have heard
a pin drop.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you are proud to be an American, pass
this on! If not, delete it.
I am proud to be of
this land,
AMERICA
and ASHAMED OF ANY PRESIDENT WHO
APOLOGIZES FOR IT!!
is there a pin dropping
somewhere?
Saturday, June 19, 2010
President
Obama's Stimulus Visit Results in Lost Payday for Construction Workers
"In any case, this marks the second time in less than a month, that I know of, that workers have been forced to take unpaid time off so Obama could brag about how much he’s doing for middle class jobs.
Update: Obama’s trip to Ohio yesterday cost between $500,000 and $1 million and he spoke for less than 10 minutes."
Obama's Stimulus Visit Results in Lost Payday for Construction Workers
"In any case, this marks the second time in less than a month, that I know of, that workers have been forced to take unpaid time off so Obama could brag about how much he’s doing for middle class jobs.
Update: Obama’s trip to Ohio yesterday cost between $500,000 and $1 million and he spoke for less than 10 minutes."
A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery Store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, Can You tell me where the Post Office is?"
The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a coupla blocks and turn to your right."
The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town. I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get To Heaven."
The little boy replied with a chuckle. "Awww, come on... You don't even know the way to the Post Office."
The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a coupla blocks and turn to your right."
The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town. I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get To Heaven."
The little boy replied with a chuckle. "Awww, come on... You don't even know the way to the Post Office."
Thursday, June 17, 2010
author unknown
I bought a bird feeder. I hung It on my back porch and filled It with seed. What a beauty of A bird feeder it was, as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a Week we had hundreds of birds Taking advantage of the Continuous flow of free and Easily accessible food.
But then the birds started Building nests in the boards Of the patio, above the table, And next to the barbecue.
Then came the poop. It was Everywhere: on the patio tile, The chairs, the table .. Everywhere!
Then some of the birds Turned mean. They would Dive bomb me and try to Peck me even though I had Fed them out of my own Pocket.
And others birds were Boisterous and loud. They Sat on the feeder and Squawked and screamed at All hours of the day and night And demanded that I fill it When it got low on food.
After a while, I couldn't even Sit on my own back porch Anymore. So I took down the Bird feeder and in three days The birds were gone. I cleaned Up their mess and took down The many nests they had built All over the patio.
Soon, the back yard was like It used to be .... Quiet, serene.... And no one demanding their Rights to a free meal.
Now let's see. Our government gives out Free food, subsidized housing, Free medical care and free Education, and allows anyone Born here to be an automatic Citizen.
Then the illegal's came by the Tens of thousands. Suddenly Our taxes went up to pay for Free services; small apartments Are housing 5 families; you Have to wait 6 hours to be seen By an emergency room doctor; Your child's second grade class is Behind other schools because Over half the class doesn't speak English.
Corn Flakes now come in a Bilingual box; I have to 'press one' to hear my bank Talk to me in English, and People waving flags other Than 'Old Glory' are Squawking and screaming In the streets, demanding More rights and free liberties.
Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government To take down the bird feeder.
If you agree, pass it on; if not, Just continue cleaning up the poop
I bought a bird feeder. I hung It on my back porch and filled It with seed. What a beauty of A bird feeder it was, as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a Week we had hundreds of birds Taking advantage of the Continuous flow of free and Easily accessible food.But then the birds started Building nests in the boards Of the patio, above the table, And next to the barbecue.
Then came the poop. It was Everywhere: on the patio tile, The chairs, the table .. Everywhere!
Then some of the birds Turned mean. They would Dive bomb me and try to Peck me even though I had Fed them out of my own Pocket.
And others birds were Boisterous and loud. They Sat on the feeder and Squawked and screamed at All hours of the day and night And demanded that I fill it When it got low on food.
After a while, I couldn't even Sit on my own back porch Anymore. So I took down the Bird feeder and in three days The birds were gone. I cleaned Up their mess and took down The many nests they had built All over the patio.
Soon, the back yard was like It used to be .... Quiet, serene.... And no one demanding their Rights to a free meal.
Now let's see. Our government gives out Free food, subsidized housing, Free medical care and free Education, and allows anyone Born here to be an automatic Citizen.
Then the illegal's came by the Tens of thousands. Suddenly Our taxes went up to pay for Free services; small apartments Are housing 5 families; you Have to wait 6 hours to be seen By an emergency room doctor; Your child's second grade class is Behind other schools because Over half the class doesn't speak English.
Corn Flakes now come in a Bilingual box; I have to 'press one' to hear my bank Talk to me in English, and People waving flags other Than 'Old Glory' are Squawking and screaming In the streets, demanding More rights and free liberties.
Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government To take down the bird feeder.
If you agree, pass it on; if not, Just continue cleaning up the poop
canon a1100is
In the olden days, you rarely saw me without a camera, and I think I had a fairly good handle on basic photography; did some pro shooting, weddings, art shots, etc., yada, yada, yada. Somewhere on the road to here I put my equipment down and walked away from the craft, losing my skills in the process.
Now, it's "back to the future" with my Canon A1100is. Follow along on my road to recovery, if you will!
I'll keep you posted.
snicker ...
Now, it's "back to the future" with my Canon A1100is. Follow along on my road to recovery, if you will!
I'll keep you posted.
snicker ...
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
off kilter
I know they don't realize that they're doing it, but that doesn't make the pain of rejection any less.
It just occurred to me that I'm a bit of a pariah in the only social circle I have right now.
I'm not a regular in the crowd, but the homeschool/drama circle frequented by my children and wife is about the only social exposure I get these days. With work and school and trying to keep two households in check, its a bit of a strain to get out and about lately.
I've felt fairly uneasy at recent events, noticing too many quick glances and far too many folks who don't look me in the eye or speak to me unless I speak first, and receiving a minimal to moderate response in reply at best from many of them; not all, but enough to notice and enough to feel uncomfortable. I'm the guy who walks around the circle, never quite fitting in; a stranger in full view.
I should have expected it, I suppose, and I probably deserve some of it. My wife and I have been separated for a bit over a year now and its common knowledge that I'm the husband/dad who "left". I'm the guy, preceded by far too many other guys, who "has a problem", "left his family" and "walked away". I'm the guy the girls mention when they're "going to dad's house" or talk about "staying with my dad for the next two days".
I'm the guy who "caused" the depression, anxiety and I'm the husband who is forcing his wife to get a job instead of being able to stay home with the kids. I'm the guy perceived as behind my wife's tears.
It must be puzzling to some, I'm sure, to see me walk up to my wife, put my arm around her and give her a quick peck on the cheek. It must be even more curious to see her respond in kindness to my overtures and to see the two of us together at times, coming and going, and seemingly enjoying each others company.
But they can't help it, I'm still "the guy" who has a problem staying with his family, lives alone and only sees his kids a couple of days a week.
They can't help it, but they don't hear the phone calls, see the support or have any way of knowing the entire picture, that I haven't "walked away" and didn't "leave my family". I continue, as always to support them financially, keep the roof over their heads, feed them, hold them close when I can and cry with them and for them when I can't. They can't see or know that I'm always there when called or needed, always there in a rush, always looking for ways to help out and keep the stream flowing, losing precious sleep and fighting a physical, mental and emotional strain that I think would topple many men. They only know what they hear and they imagine the rest.
Some of my wife's friends, even some who don't know me personally, are tender hearted and compassionate and I love them for it. They greet me and treat me with mercy and I suspect they mention me in their talks with our Lord, at least I hope so. A few of my daughter's friends always have a smile for me and a kind word to me; they can't know how much that means to me.
I'm the guy who "lives in a van down by the river", not because I want to, but because, for now, it seems to be the only thing to do. I'm the guy who cries in the dark, along with my wife and children. I'm the guy in pain with nothing to hold me together but Jesus. I'm the "guy" who could use, and needs, a little kindness.
I'll erase this in a day or so, I just need to throw it out into the night. One of my girls is having problems sleeping and she needs to know her daddy is up and watching over her so she can sleep. I give up my sleep for hers, any day, any time; that's what dad's do.
Good night and happy Fathers Day.
It just occurred to me that I'm a bit of a pariah in the only social circle I have right now.
I'm not a regular in the crowd, but the homeschool/drama circle frequented by my children and wife is about the only social exposure I get these days. With work and school and trying to keep two households in check, its a bit of a strain to get out and about lately.
I've felt fairly uneasy at recent events, noticing too many quick glances and far too many folks who don't look me in the eye or speak to me unless I speak first, and receiving a minimal to moderate response in reply at best from many of them; not all, but enough to notice and enough to feel uncomfortable. I'm the guy who walks around the circle, never quite fitting in; a stranger in full view.
I should have expected it, I suppose, and I probably deserve some of it. My wife and I have been separated for a bit over a year now and its common knowledge that I'm the husband/dad who "left". I'm the guy, preceded by far too many other guys, who "has a problem", "left his family" and "walked away". I'm the guy the girls mention when they're "going to dad's house" or talk about "staying with my dad for the next two days".
I'm the guy who "caused" the depression, anxiety and I'm the husband who is forcing his wife to get a job instead of being able to stay home with the kids. I'm the guy perceived as behind my wife's tears.
It must be puzzling to some, I'm sure, to see me walk up to my wife, put my arm around her and give her a quick peck on the cheek. It must be even more curious to see her respond in kindness to my overtures and to see the two of us together at times, coming and going, and seemingly enjoying each others company.
But they can't help it, I'm still "the guy" who has a problem staying with his family, lives alone and only sees his kids a couple of days a week.
They can't help it, but they don't hear the phone calls, see the support or have any way of knowing the entire picture, that I haven't "walked away" and didn't "leave my family". I continue, as always to support them financially, keep the roof over their heads, feed them, hold them close when I can and cry with them and for them when I can't. They can't see or know that I'm always there when called or needed, always there in a rush, always looking for ways to help out and keep the stream flowing, losing precious sleep and fighting a physical, mental and emotional strain that I think would topple many men. They only know what they hear and they imagine the rest.
Some of my wife's friends, even some who don't know me personally, are tender hearted and compassionate and I love them for it. They greet me and treat me with mercy and I suspect they mention me in their talks with our Lord, at least I hope so. A few of my daughter's friends always have a smile for me and a kind word to me; they can't know how much that means to me.
I'm the guy who "lives in a van down by the river", not because I want to, but because, for now, it seems to be the only thing to do. I'm the guy who cries in the dark, along with my wife and children. I'm the guy in pain with nothing to hold me together but Jesus. I'm the "guy" who could use, and needs, a little kindness.
I'll erase this in a day or so, I just need to throw it out into the night. One of my girls is having problems sleeping and she needs to know her daddy is up and watching over her so she can sleep. I give up my sleep for hers, any day, any time; that's what dad's do.
Good night and happy Fathers Day.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Monday, June 07, 2010
wasp spray
author unknown
Sounds like a cheap, and an effective way to protect yourself!
Never thought about this before but important to know!
Yes! I keep one of these at every entry door both in the house and in the shop. I am ALWAYS armed but who knows when........
You can see its not too heavy so you could carry one on your walks. Will stop hornets, dogs and two legged varmints in their tracks!!
I know some of you own GUNS but this is something to think about...
If you don't have a gun, here's a more humane way to wreck someone's evil plans for you. Did you know this? I didn't. I never really thought of it before. I guess I can get rid of the baseball bat.
Wasp Spray - A friend who is a receptionist in a church in a high risk area was concerned about someone coming into the office on Monday to rob them when they were counting the collection. She asked the local police department about using pepper spray and they recommended to her that she get a can of wasp spray instead.
The wasp spray, they told her, can shoot up to twenty feet away and is a lot more accurate, while with the pepper spray, they have to get too close to you and could overpower you. The wasp spray temporarily blinds an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote. She keeps a can on her desk in the office and it doesn't attract attention from people like a can of pepper spray would. She also keeps one nearby at home for home protection. Thought this was interesting and might be of use.
On the heels of a break in and beating that left an elderly woman in Toledo dead, self defense experts have a tip that could save your life.
Val Glinka teaches self-defense to students at Sylvania Southview High School . For decades, he's suggested putting a can of wasp and hornet spray near your door or bed.
Glinka says, "This is better than anything I can teach them."
Glinka considers it inexpensive, easy to find, and more effective than mace or pepper spray. The cans typically shoot 20 to 30 feet; so if someone tries to break into your home, Glinka says "spray the culprit in the eyes". It's a tip he's given to students for decades.
It's also one he wants everyone to hear. If you're looking for protection, Glinka says look to the spray. "That's going to give you a chance to call the police; maybe get out." Maybe even save a life.
Please share this with all the people who are precious to your life
Did you also know that wasp spray will kill a snake? And a mouse! It will! Good to know, huh? It will also kill a wasp.!!!!
Sounds like a cheap, and an effective way to protect yourself!
Never thought about this before but important to know!
Yes! I keep one of these at every entry door both in the house and in the shop. I am ALWAYS armed but who knows when........
You can see its not too heavy so you could carry one on your walks. Will stop hornets, dogs and two legged varmints in their tracks!!
I know some of you own GUNS but this is something to think about...
If you don't have a gun, here's a more humane way to wreck someone's evil plans for you. Did you know this? I didn't. I never really thought of it before. I guess I can get rid of the baseball bat.
Wasp Spray - A friend who is a receptionist in a church in a high risk area was concerned about someone coming into the office on Monday to rob them when they were counting the collection. She asked the local police department about using pepper spray and they recommended to her that she get a can of wasp spray instead.
The wasp spray, they told her, can shoot up to twenty feet away and is a lot more accurate, while with the pepper spray, they have to get too close to you and could overpower you. The wasp spray temporarily blinds an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote. She keeps a can on her desk in the office and it doesn't attract attention from people like a can of pepper spray would. She also keeps one nearby at home for home protection. Thought this was interesting and might be of use.
On the heels of a break in and beating that left an elderly woman in Toledo dead, self defense experts have a tip that could save your life.
Val Glinka teaches self-defense to students at Sylvania Southview High School . For decades, he's suggested putting a can of wasp and hornet spray near your door or bed.
Glinka says, "This is better than anything I can teach them."
Glinka considers it inexpensive, easy to find, and more effective than mace or pepper spray. The cans typically shoot 20 to 30 feet; so if someone tries to break into your home, Glinka says "spray the culprit in the eyes". It's a tip he's given to students for decades.
It's also one he wants everyone to hear. If you're looking for protection, Glinka says look to the spray. "That's going to give you a chance to call the police; maybe get out." Maybe even save a life.
Please share this with all the people who are precious to your life
Did you also know that wasp spray will kill a snake? And a mouse! It will! Good to know, huh? It will also kill a wasp.!!!!
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Three New Navy Ships
USS REAGAN
Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective.... ENORMOUS!
When the Bridge pipes ' Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4..5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.
Capability
Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling
1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years
2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft
3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet
Size
1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline
2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall
3. Flight deck covers 4..5 acres
4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds
5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons
6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet
Capacity
1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel
2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days
3. 18,150 meals served daily
4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes
5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones
6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets
USS BILL CLINTON
The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver , BC
The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton 'for his foresight in military budget cuts' and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President.
The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.
As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board.
This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.
An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.
In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada .
USS BARACK OBAMA
This ship will be used to ferry illegals across the Rio Grande to pick up their welfare checks as advance payments for their democratic votes.
Details are as vague as his past, his economic policies and his credentials to lead.
But don't you worry......he has a plan!
Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective.... ENORMOUS!
When the Bridge pipes ' Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4..5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.
Capability
Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling
1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years
2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft
3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet
Size
1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline
2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall
3. Flight deck covers 4..5 acres
4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds
5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons
6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet
Capacity
1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel
2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days
3. 18,150 meals served daily
4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes
5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones
6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets
USS BILL CLINTON
The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver , BC
The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton 'for his foresight in military budget cuts' and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President.
The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.
As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board.
This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.
An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.
In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada .
USS BARACK OBAMA
This ship will be used to ferry illegals across the Rio Grande to pick up their welfare checks as advance payments for their democratic votes.
Details are as vague as his past, his economic policies and his credentials to lead.
But don't you worry......he has a plan!
Thursday, June 03, 2010
author unknown
unattributed quote alleged to be from the Czech Republic
"The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency.
It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president.
The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails America.
Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince. The Republic can survive a Barack Obama, who is, after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools such as those who made him their president."
"The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency.
It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president.
The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails America.
Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince. The Republic can survive a Barack Obama, who is, after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools such as those who made him their president."
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