why I vote democrat

author unknown

I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I  want. I've decided to marry my horse. 
 
I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't. 
 
I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would. 
 
I vote Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it. 
 
I vote Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people. 
 
I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. 
 
I vote Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius. 
 
I vote Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit. 
 
I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the  Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.